How to Stop Self Sabotage?

An important lesson I have learnt, is how to stop self sabotage. How to stop beating myself up about something that is past and instead learn to use it to be better, and to use it as fuel to improve and avoid digging deeper into a hole. I want to share a simple tool with you that I have used many times to help me get out of this habit of self sabotage.

What is self sabotage?

Self sabotage is when we do things that prevent ourselves from getting ahead. We are unknowingly putting obstacles in our way. It could stem from negative self talk and low self esteem that causes inaction, avoidance, lack of clarity, fear of responsibility, etc. Self sabotage is you getting in your own way.

Why we do it?

Why do we want to sabotage our own achievements? We have all been in a position where we get into the cycle of beating ourselves up about what we didn’t accomplish, and as a consequence we feel bad. We feel guilty and get mad at ourselves for being weak. Then this puts us in a negative state of mind.

In order to feel better, we revert to things that give us that instant gratification. This could be that bad habit we are consciously trying hard to get rid of, which does nothing to make the situation any better. This is when we often go down the path of self sabotaging. Does this resonate with you?

4 As

Let me share what I do to stop self sabotage in it’s tracks.

This tool is something that you can just whip out and use it to thrash out those self sabotaging tendencies. Whenever you feel something is not right, you will know. Your intuition will take care of this so just surrender to whatever it is you are feeling. A lot of the time we tend to brush things under the carpet and hope it will disappear, but all that is doing is covering the cracks. It is festering and sooner or later it will burst open and will have got worse.

Use this 4 Step Process to step in and deal with the problem. It will help you move forward and push past anything that might get in the way of your progress. I call this the “4 As”.

Aware

The first step is to be Aware. What is the situation you are facing, be aware of the problem or the feeling that something is not right. Awareness is key to change. If you are not aware of the problem, there is nothing to fix.

Acknowledge

The second step is to Acknowledge what is self sabotaging your efforts. It is not to blame or shame as that move would not accomplish anything. Acknowledge it’s there and accept it in order to move on.

Action

The third step is to take appropriate Action. What is the best action you can take to improve the situation and what do you need to do now? Then “do it!”

Assess

After taking action, the fourth step is to assess the situation. Give it a week or 2 then review the result of this action. Has the action you took improved the situation for you. Has it helped? Or is it time to adjust and take a different approach.

Note there is no failure here, you are learning a lesson.

To Summarise

To summarise, many of us don’t realise that we are the ones who are getting in our own way of achieving what we want. We often blame circumstances or other people. However now you are aware of this, you can now do something about it. Take back control of your life and start pushing through these barriers, one step at a time. Being consistent is key, it’s not always about making big moves.

Now I have armed you with this tool called the “4As” you can start using it right away.

Hope it helps you as much as it has helped me this year. Let me see what amazing things you start achieving!

As always keep living agelessly,

Kath xoxo